Forgotten
by Miserable Cloud
Summary: Maya is different than all the other students at Hogwarts and Sirius is the only one who understands her, but sometimes he's too busy to hang out with her. So she is left to try to get through the teasing by herself! Gets more interesting in the 2nd chap.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so ... I wanted to write a story about Sirius and Lupin as teens ... cuz that always interested me ... I love it when they're teens aaagggggghhhhh!! But anyhoo ... I'm not crazy about writing in a guy's point of view cuz ... it's kind of awkward cuz i'm a girl, SO I made up Maya. Yes ... So I did NOT create any of these characters or Hogwarts except Maya and her dad. Yup. 'kay, hope you like it.**

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I heaved another heavy sigh as I stared out the small window at the dark low clouds. I watched Grimmauld Place silently. Rain splattered against the window in front of me causing me to close it and retreat to my rickety bed. The only sound in the house was it creaking from the wind. Nobody else was in my house except me and I felt terribly alone. 

I shoved my face in my pillow and started bawling. My dad was always at work or at his girlfriend's house so he was rarely ever home, and my mom was in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. I was always alone!! And I was sick of it!! Sure, I loved being alone, but not at night!! Night, when my imagination woke up and started going insane, scaring me out of my mind.

Suddenly a door slamming shut and furious yells broke into my crying. I sat up and looked out the window, wiping my face dry. Storming away from Grimmauld Place, was Sirius Black with a furious expression. I watched, wondering what had happened this time. When he reached my driveway I ran out of my room to the front door.

Sirius always came to my house when he left his own, mainly because James, Remus, and Peter's houses were too far away. He told me stuff because he knew I had no one to tell, and even if I did I wouldn't.

I opened the door and let him in.

"Were you watching me through your window again?" he asked, grinning.

I smiled a small, not truly happy, smile. "I'm not a stalker," I muttered, walking into the small, rundown living room. "I don't understand how you can go from being really angry and upset to grinning and making jokes so quickly." I looked at him gloomily as I sat on the moth-eaten couch.

He nodded and sat down too. "Sorry."

He knew I hated it when people faked emotions or lied.

"So … What happened?" I asked quietly.

He shrugged and sighed. "Just the usual, you know! They kept talking about … purebloods and … somehow they got on the topic of my cousin Andromeda! They hate how she's all kind to muggles and muggle-borns! They hate her like they hate me! I can't take all that!! So I defended her naturally and Mom freaked!! So I left!! Corny I know!"

"No, I get it!"

"Are you packed for tomorrow yet?" he asked calmly, running his finger along the dust-ridden couch.

"Yup! You?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. But … my stuff's in my room. I'll just sneak in tomorrow morning … if I can stay here?" He blinked.

"Yeah, sure!"

He smiled widely and looked around. "He hasn't been here in what – three weeks?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Definitely! There's dust everywhere and that book hasn't been touched!!" He pointed at my dad's favourite book.

"Yeah, he's at Greta's again! Hasn't even called!" I frowned.

He yawned and stretched. "That really sucks for you!"

I nodded. "Favouring his 'girlfriend' again!" I glared at my feet, frustrated. "I just ... wish he'd come home once in a while," I paused, sighing. "But anyways, it's one o'clock so I think I'm gonna head to bed now! Gotta get up at seven!" I said, getting to my feet.

He agreed and sprawled on the couch. I went to the closet, grabbed a few blankets and threw them on him.

"Thanks," he mumbled underneath them all.

"'Night," I said quietly and went into my room, shutting the door behind me.

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"MAYA!!!"

I sat up like I'd been electrocuted, my heart racing. Sirius burst into my room, eyes wide.

"It's eight!!" he cried, pulling me out of bed. "Hurry up!! James should be here right now!!"

"James?" I asked, confused. "What?"

"Yeah! He's picking us up … to drive us to Platform 9 ¾! Well …" He patted my luggage, "James thinks it's just me but … don't worry!! They've got a minivan thing! Looks just like a muggle minivan. Anyhoo … Get up! I still gotta go get my stuff!"

I nodded and jumped out of bed. "You can go get it!"

"No, you gotta come too 'cause we're getting picked up over there!" Suddenly he looked excited. I knew how much he loved going to Hogwarts, loved getting away from his family.

"Well you gotta leave before I change!" I snapped.

"Oh!" he said, realising I was still in my pyjamas, "Right! Sorry!" He backed out and shut the door.

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We ran across the street messily. I dropped my coat and had to double back.

"Come on!!" Sirius spat, stressed out. He was carrying my pet cat, Mickey, in a cage and almost dropped it.

"Don't you dare drop him!" I snapped, catching up.

"I won't!"

We finally reached his house after dropping a few more things.

"Okay, wait here. I'll be right back!" said Sirius as he set down Mickey. Then he bolted into the house. I sat down on my luggage and waited … and waited … and waited ... and watched a bird fly into the neighbour's window ... and waited some more.

About twenty minutes later, Sirius emerged from inside followed by a woman's deafening shrieks.

"He's not here yet?" he asked, setting his luggage by mine and pretending he couldn't hear her threats, "Can't wait to get out of here!"

"Me neither!"

A few minutes of pure silence later an odd vehicle trying to look like a minivan pulled up.

"You're late!!" Sirius joked as the door swung open to reveal James Potter and Remus Lupin grinning. When their eyes reached me James raised an eyebrow and Remus looked a little confused. I averted my eyes nervously.

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**Well ... Please review and please keep reading. I'll put up the second chapter in two days. Okay. I like the second chapter a WHOLE lot more!!**


	2. Chapter 2

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"Do you guys mind if Maya comes along?" Sirius asked as he loaded our luggage in the back. I stood there awkwardly holding onto Mickey's cage and looking around miserably.

"No problem!" James' father spoke up. I hadn't even noticed him in the front seat.

Sirius grinned at me and took Mickey's cage from my hands, shoving him into the back. I smiled back and crawled into the backseat with Sirius following.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked once we started to drive.

"He got a ride!" James replied, leaning over the back of his seat and ruffling his hair.

I looked over at Remus and he smiled at me while James just stared at me like I was insane.

"Where's Regulus, Sirius?" Mr Potter asked abruptly.

"My _dear brother_ got a ride with some friend!" he said bitterly.

He wasn't crazy about his younger brother. His parents totally favoured him and they didn't even try to hide it. They openly hated Sirius and adored Regulus. In a way I was glad I was an only child. But I wasn't too happy with his brother either! He always teased me, and that I can deal with, but he said to me the one think I will never allow anyone to say: "You look like your mother"! I hated my mother for joining the Death Eaters and I would never forgive her! She didn't even want to have me and when I was born she abandoned me and my dad and joined Voldemort. And besides, I didn't even look like her! She had light brown wavy hair, tanned skin, and soft misleading blue eyes, where I had black hair reaching just past my shoulder that was insanely choppy and messy, extremely pale skin from my hate of being in the sun (no, I'm not a vampire), and intense dark grey eyes. The only similarity was we were both bony.

"So uh … How come … Maya … is coming with … us?" James asked Sirius while watching me out of the corner of his eye.

The reason they were so hesitant around me was … I was the outcast at school. I had no friends (except Sirius who rarely hung out with me), I was considered insane because I was different: I wore all black or red, I sat in the corner, I was always writing or reading, I barely ever spoke and when I did it was usually to either correct someone or say something morbid, and I was depressed and depression was something people were either afraid of or teased; and people were basically scared of me. Everyone thought I couldn't care less about being tease or ignored and Sirius was the only one who knew how much it all bothered me.

"I'm not stupid or deaf, James!" I snapped.

His eyes widened. "I didn't mean …"

"I'm sorry but if you're going to bad-talk me or make fun of me, please do it when I'm not around like everyone else!!" I was getting angry, hurt, and defensive. "I don't feel like hearing why you don't want me here!!" I felt like crying but covered it up with anger.

"I was just … wondering …"

I squinted my eyes and looked out the window, a lump in my throat. Sirius put a hand on my shoulder and turned to James.

"Prongs, she's just sick of everyone talking about her like she's not there! Now, do you have a problem with having her here?"

"No! I'm fine! I was just wondering …"

"I was going to walk," I muttered softly, "but Sirius asked me to come! I'm sorry!"

James looked down. "No, I'm the one who's sorry!"

I glanced over at Remus and he was reading. I looked back out the window and we travelled the remainder of the ride in silence.

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I didn't talk to anyone even when we reached Platform 9 ¾, and when we boarded the train I almost made it to an empty compartment when Sirius grabbed my arm and pulled me into theirs.

"Wonder where Peter is," James stated, sitting down.

I sat with Remus across from Sirius and James. Remus was reading something about full moons so I pulled out my notebook and started writing. I completely zoned out from everything else and played music in my head while I wrote, and an hour had passed before I was ripped away by a loud, "Lily!!"

I looked up to see James on the edge of his seat and Sirius laughing. I looked out the compartment window and saw Lily had stopped in front of it. She rolled her eyes and stepped in.

"What do you want, James?"

He put on a pathetically desperate face. "Why don't you sit right here?" He patted the seat next to him.

"And why would I want to sit there?"

"To talk with me of course!"

"I don't want to talk to you, James!! It's like talking to a rock!!"

"Aw sweetheart, then how come just now you stopped to talk to me?" James smirked.

Lily blushed and glared at him for a few seconds before spinning around and marching out the door. Once gone, Sirius erupted with more laughter and patted James on the shoulder. James shrugged, grinning. I smiled at them and immediately regretted it when a group of girls stopped and came inside our compartment. Sirius quit laughing abruptly and James frowned.

"Was Maya just smiling?!" the tallest girl with long blonde hair teased, "That's hard to believe!!"

"Oh shut up Sarah!!" I glared at her while my insides stung.

"What's this?" She grabbed my book and flipped it open.

My eyes widened, my heart raced, and my stomach burned with fury. I lunged at her but missed my book because she ripped it away quickly. "Give it back!!" I cried, my voice cracking with emotion.

"Hmm …" She burst out laughing and showed her friends. "She writes poems!! Look! This one's called _Bleeding Heart_!"

She looked at me, cackling hysterically, holding the book I showed not a soul on the planet open and was making the worst fear I'd ever had - my work being made fun of - come true. I had no way of getting it back (I was really weak) and I felt the most helpless I'd ever felt. Tears squeezed out of the corners of my eyes and made their way down my face.

"Aww, now she's _crying_!!" Sarah criticized harshly, a huge grin on her face.

And a second later my book was out of her grip and in Sirius'. I wiped my face and watched as he handed it to James and stood up, his face twisted in anger. "I am sick of everyone walking all over Maya!!" He shoved Sarah in the shoulder and she backed up, her hands up like she was touched by the biggest maggot ever.

"Whatever!" she snapped and left.

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**Hope you don't hate it and hope you keep reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**'Kay so CHAPTER THREE ... hmm ... Hope you like!**

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Once the train stopped I ran out the compartment door and lost myself among everyone else. I was positive I'd lost them when I reached the carriages with nothing pulling them, but somehow Sirius found me. He grabbed my arm tightly as I tried to run and pulled me over to a carriage with Remus and James in it. He hauled me into it against my will. I folded my arms and glowered at the floor, humiliated.

"I'm sure your poems are amazing!" said an intelligent yet quiet and a tiny bit hoarse voice.

I looked up surprised.

"Everyone feels like their heart's bleeding at one time or another! Some people just for longer!" Remus said gently. That was the first time he talked all day and it was to reassure me!

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled. He was always so kind to me … just like Sirius. Another similarity between them was the depths of their eyes: They both knew pain. Sure, Sirius hid his insecurities and misery in a bit of arrogance and total rebellion, and Lupin was just happy people talked to him, but they were the same in some ways. I always found it hard to read James' eyes since they rarely met mine but I knew he was a good guy. Peter, on the other hand, was terribly easy to read. He was completely insecure and lost and ready to obey anyone's orders.

"Yeah! There's no need to feel embarrassed about poetry!" Sirius told me kindly, "It's a piece of you and if people find something to tease it's just 'cause they're too shallow to understand it."

I smiled. "Maybe I'll let you guys read some of it later on!"

Remus and Sirius grinned excitedly and James pointed at the carriage in front of us.

"Hey, there's Peter!!"

We looked up and there sat Peter looking extremely uncomfortable.

"PETER!!" Sirius shouted loudly.

He turned and when he saw us, his eyes grew huge and he edged forward in his seat, excited. He waved shyly and Sirius waved back, then turned around.

I always wondered why Sirius, James, and Remus hung out with Peter. I didn't mind it at all – I mean, he had no other friends and maybe they saw something in Peter or maybe they just felt sorry for him, I didn't know.

When we finally reached Hogwarts, my heart filled with happiness at seeing the huge great castle. Grinning, I stepped off the carriage and nearly fell when James stepped on my skirt.

"Whoa!"

"Oh! Dang, sorry!" James exclaimed, lifting his foot and freeing me.

"Good thing I got my sweet belt!" I stated, suddenly feeling really happy. I showed them my new red and black striped belt.

Sirius grinned at me. "Red and black, of course!"

"Duh!"

"Please stick with us at least till we reach the common room!" Sirius said.

I shrugged. "Fine! Don't know why you want me to!"

"We don't want you to be teased on the first day of school!"

"You mean twice? Well, still that's sweet! Come on!"

Excited, we entered the Great Hall and sat at the long Gryffindor table. On my left sat Remus, and on my right sat Sirius, then James, then Peter. I stared at my food the whole meal and didn't talk. Remus did the same, Sirius and James talked and teased a few people and laughed a lot, and Peter listened in on their conversation.

When everything had finished we all walked up to the Gryffindor tower with everyone else. It was the same as always - cozy and homey and perfect - and I was so glad to be back.

"Well, g'night, you guys!" I said softly.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed, "Already? It's eight o'clock!"

I smiled. "Yes, it is!"

"Er … Okay, g'night!"

"Night!" said everyone else and it made me so happy.

I sat on my bed and sighed. I was alone in the room and I was glad. I opened my book, leaned against the headboard, and read until an hour and a half later when my roommates, Lily Evans, her best friend Kara Williams, and another of their friends Mary O'Connor, walked in, chatting and laughing.

Lily had long thick dark red hair, green eyes, and an intelligent face, Kara had dark brown hair in braids, dark brown eyes, and was two inches shorter than Lily, and Mary had dead-straight white-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a preppy, snooty look in them. I didn't like Mary at all!

When they noticed me, Mary rolled her eyes, Kara ignored me, and Lily gave me a small smile. I nodded at her, my eyes downcast, and reached for the curtain.

"Goodnight, Maya," Lily said kindly.

I paused and stared at her smiling at me. "G'night," I muttered quietly and pulled the curtains on my bed shut.

Once alone in my small little space of a bed, I continued to read, sometimes pausing to listen in on their hushed conversation:

"He called you 'sweetheart'?!" Kara squealed.

"Yes!" Lily cried, "He basically implied I wanted to talk to him and liked him or something!"

"But don't you?!"

"NO WAY, MARY!!"

"WELL, you could've kept walking!!"

Lily didn't reply.

"Well, goodnight you guys!" Mary stated, getting up off Lily's bed.

"Goodnight, Mary!!" they both said together, and then started whispering with each other about James.

I shook my head to myself. I wondered if Lily truly hated James, or didn't mind him, or even loved him too. But it didn't matter if I knew the truth or not because even if I did I wouldn't tell James or even Sirius! Lily could tell him personally!!

Not really caring about everyone's love-lives, I changed into my pyjamas and crawled into bed.

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**Haha. Yeah so ... I do not know. I want you (desperately and pathetically) to REVIEW!! I LIVE OFF reviews!! So PLEASE!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! So chapter four ... Mm hmm ... Hope you like!**

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**Chapter Four**

Next morning when I entered the Great Hall I went and sat at a table with my book and read while I ate. A few minutes later Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter showed up.

"Hey, Maya!" Sirius greeted, ruffling my hair as they sat down across from me.

"What're you reading?" asked Lupin, putting his own book on the table.

"Er … _History of the Werewolf_," I replied quietly.

Sirius, James, and Peter's heads all whipped to stare at Remus who grinned at me widely. I looked around confused.

"What? Do you like werewolves?"

Remus shrugged. "No, I don't like ones like Fenrir Greyback, ones that hurt others but …" He shifted his eyes and looked down into his hands. "… I don't know!"

"He doesn't like how werewolves get shunned!" James explained.

"What about you? Do you like werewolves?" Remus asked calmly.

I smiled. "Yes, I find them very interesting! But I agree with you about how people make them outcasts and hate them or are terrified of them. I mean, come on, they can't control attacking people when transformed!" I shook my head. "Yet there are werewolves like Fenrir Greyback that are just horrible!" I shuddered, getting really lost in what I was saying. "But there are wizards like You-Know-Who just like that and we aren't afraid of every wizard!"

Remus looked impressed and I blushed. I wasn't used to people being impressed with me. I smiled awkwardly and opened my book again.

James burst out laughing. "Look, it's Snivelly!! I swear, has he ever heard of shampoo and water?!!"

I looked up from my book to see Sirius whip around to stare and laugh, joining in on the criticisms. Peter laughed along with them and Remus frowned into his book. I shook my head at Sirius. Sometimes he could be a real hypocrite. He constantly bullied Snape with James and then when people teased me freaked on them! Told them to grow up! And that he wouldn't take it! I asked him to stop many times but he always had an excuse: "You don't understand how horrible Snape is to everyone!!" "He's not as innocent and sweet as he may seem!" I never thought he was innocent and sweet! I just glared at Sirius and would leave when he tried to justify his actions.

"Hey, Snape!!" Sirius shouted loudly.

Heads turned from all tables to watch. As Sirius and James started making wisecracks about Snape, I slammed my book onto the table furiously. Sirius spun around startled.

"What?!"

"I wonder!!" I snapped and got to my feet, grabbed one more piece of toast, and stormed out of the Great Hall and up to the common room. I sat on my bed and stuffed my book to the bottom of my trunk. Sighing, I grabbed my Potions stuff and headed off. I entered the dark room and sat at a seat in the front. I was so early that even Professor Slughorn wasn't there yet. I pulled out a scrap piece of parchment and started a new poem.

Lily, Kara, and Mary were the first to join me, sitting at the other table in front. I glanced over then back to my poem. The last to arrive were, of course, Sirius, James, and Remus, who all sat at the only empty table, the one behind me and three Slythering gits. Peter didn't get a good enough NEWT to get back in Potions, Remus barely got in (he's real smart but Potions was one of his few weaknesses), James was only here because Lily loved it, and Sirius always backed him up.

The whole class buzzed with gossip and everyone's adventures over the summer, until Professor Slughorn arrived a few minutes later.

"Sorry I'm late, class!" he said, the buzz completely gone. "Okay! Everyone pair up and open to page 109!"

The Slytherin next to me was dark haired, dark eyed, darkly tanned, and looked very frustrating to deal with. He groaned loudly when he realised he was stuck with me.

"Oh, shut up!" I snapped, getting out my cauldron.

"Don't talk to me, freak!" he spat, flipping through the pages of his Potions book.

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored Professor Slughorn explaining the lesson, reading page 109 instead.

When Slughorn finished, my partner turned to me.

"So … what are we doing?"

I shrugged.

"Weren't you listening?!" he blurted.

"No."

"No?!"

"No."

"Well …" He looked around, desperate. "… What do we do?"

"Mash these!" I pushed some root-things over to him.

"Mash them? But it says cut!"

I glared at him. I wasn't going to let him walk all over me so I had to be rough. The rest of the class was the same – me telling him what to do, him telling me I was wrong, and then him giving in, and us getting a good mark. When double Potions had ended, we had free time before lunch.

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**Yes. Please review.**

**I'm listening to Smashing Pumpkins right now. Anyone else like them? My Chemical Romane? Fall Out Boy? Panic! At the Disco? The Beatles? AFI? Linkin Park? Anyone?**

** REVIEW!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**HELLO again!!! Thanks for reading I love you guys!!**

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**Chapter Five**

Slowly, I made my way back up to the common room, plopping down in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace and pulled out my book again. I had nothing better to do so I read. People came in and left and talked really loud and whispered all around me but I was lost in my own world … like always.

"Reading again?" said a voice from behind my chair.

I ripped my gaze from the book and looked up. Mary stood there, smirking at me. Two other girls, Catherine and Leah, stood beside her. I blinked at them.

"What?" I snapped.

"Good book, Maya?" She snatched the book from my hands. Why did everyone grab stuff from my hands?! "Ooh! _History of the Werewolf_!" She laughed hysterically. "Planning on being bitten some time soon?"

"Give that book back NOW!!" I shouted furiously, jumping from the chair.

"Wow! Why so angry?"

"She's not angry, she's scared."

We all turned to see Sirius walk in the common room followed closely by James, Remus, and Peter. Mary threw the book back at me and her hand flew to her hair.

"Hi, Sirius!"

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes at Mary and came over to me.

"I mean when you're angry you're calm, when you're annoyed you're bossy and grumpy, and when you're scared you're angry." He shrugged. "Just saying!"

The Marauders sat in all the other chairs except Peter who sat on the floor.

"Man, Prongs, your future girl's friend, Mary, is annoying!!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Ah! They're not that close," said James as he kicked off his shoes.

I sat back down in my chair and opened my book again. I could hear Sirius and James talking and laughing in the background but I couldn't make out any words. I was in the middle of a sentence describing the physical features of a werewolf when, abruptly, blood started flowing out of my nose like a hose.

"Ergh!" I squeaked, dropping my book and holding my nose. I got up quickly, confused.

"Whoa!" Sirius cried, jumping up.

Roars of laughter came from the corner of the room. I quickly glanced over and saw the tall girl that took my poems on the train holding her wand and laughing hysterically with a group of 'popular' people. I looked down and there was a long trail of blood down the front of my cloak and a large puddle at my feet. I glared furiously, disgusted, and was about to run to get tissues or anything when it suddenly stopped and a loud scream pierced my eardrums. I looked up and saw Remus' wand pointing at me and Sirius' pointing at the tall girl. I whirled around to find her hanging by her hair on the roof, shrieking frantically. Sirius stalked over to her heatedly.

"Did you seriously think I wouldn't see you do that and not get revenge?!! You really are as stupid as you look!!" And then, with a flick of his wand, he released her hair and she fell, crumpling on the floor.

Turning back to Remus, I sighed. "Thank you for stopping … the blood."

"No problem!" He smiled kindly.

Sirius appeared at my side, anger rippling off him.

"I'm fine … really. Just a stupid prank," I told him quietly, but he stared at me incredulously.

"Just a stupid prank?! Are you kidding me?! There was real blood coming out of your nose!!"

"Sirius!! You've used that same jinx on Snape multiple times!!" I shouted.

His eyes widened and mouth opened but he didn't say anything. I picked up my book and ran off to the girls' dormitory where I changed. I sat down on my bed and Mickey (her cat of course) jumped onto my lap. I stroked him and he purred loudly.

I didn't know what to do. Everything I did was teased. If I read I was teased, if I wrote I was teased, if I just sat there I was teased, and so on. And I felt like I was intruding whenever I hung around the Marauders. Peter hated me for some reason, James thought I was seriously screwed up, Remus was quiet and nice and I didn't think he hated me, and Sirius … I guess he didn't mind me. But now I was too scared to go back to the common room. I didn't want another prank pulled on me, I didn't want to be made fun of any longer, and I just wanted to be left to my peace. I sat there on the bed, feeling dead, and sighed heavily.

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When Lunch had started, I released Mickey, got up, and slowly made my way down to the Great Hall. I sat at the table beside someone I didn't know. The girl raised her eyebrows at me and left to a different spot further along the table with her friends following.

"Oh, whatever!" I muttered to myself, leaning my head on my hand and putting food on my plate.

I ate slowly and alone, thinking sad thoughts and wishing someone thought of me as a best friend or the center of their world. I never felt it in my entire life and I craved the feeling of love every day. Like I said before, my Mum didn't want me, my Dad loved his girlfriend more, I had no siblings, and never knew any of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins, and that is why I felt so deprived of a proper life.

"Hey!"

I straightened and looked up. Remus sat down across from me.

"Oh, hi! Where're the others?" I asked, glancing around.

"Uh … They don't feel like eating right now!" he said quietly, putting food on his plate slowly.

"But you're hungry?"

He grinned. "I'm always hungry!"

I laughed. "Me too!"

"So … How's your first day so far?" he asked, taking a bite of some pastry.

I blinked at him. "Well, blood flowing out the nose isn't the most comfortable feeling ever! Having my stuff snatched from my hands every time I turn around isn't that fun either!"

He nodded seriously.

"Did Sirius … say anything after I … yelled at him?"

He paused his chewing, thinking. "Well … He was kind of all 'That's the thanks I get for sticking up for her?' and then 'Snivelly deserves everything we do to him!' and a whole bunch more defences." He shrugged, swallowing.

"I see … Are you okay? You look … sick."

He looked up. "Oh! Yeah, a week till full m – Er …" He averted his eyes. "No, I'm fine. Feel a little … dizzy, but I'll be fine."

I raised an eyebrow but accepted it.

"So … What do you have next?" he asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Transfigurations."

"Aw! Great, me too! 'Course the others are too."

"Well, see you there," I said, getting up and leaving.

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**Yes well ... Sirius is adorable and so is Lupin!! I love them both sooo much!! I'm so glad if you're reading this and I just hope you like it. And if you do like it, please review to tell me how much you like it then I'll get happy!! So ... yes.**

**And anyone who DID review, thank you oh so much!!! It all makes me so happy!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

A week passed by extremely quickly. One day after supper I ended up in the common room, doing a Potions essay in front of the fireplace. Just as I'd become insanely bored with it, Remus entered the slowly emptying common room alone and slumped down in the seat beside me.

"Where're the others now?" I asked softly.

"Mm … Sirius and James have detention for turning some random first year into a squirrel and getting caught. And Peter is in the Hospital Wing because his wand backfired on him and burned him real bad. And I'm here 'cause I've got to do a Potions essay, same as you."

I smiled. "You know … you look kind of … green. Are you alright?"

He shrugged. "You keep asking me that and I'm gonna keep saying I'm fine … 'cause I'm fine!"

"Okay!" I paused. He started his essay and I stared at a wall. "Remus … Do you ever … feel jealous about Sirius and James being so close?"

He frowned and looked up slowly. "I'm just lucky I have friends so … I guess I don't really … feel jealous of them 'cause I've already got more than I expected."

"Why did you expect to have no friends?"

He stared for a few seconds. "… Secrets of mine! I just …" He shrugged again. "… I don't make friends so easy."

"How did you guys all meet?" I asked calmly. I wanted to ask what his secrets were but … they were just that – secrets.

He sighed and laid down his quill. "We met in the second month of the first year. I was unusually frustrated because of how everyone looked at me weird and no one would talk to me so I got in an argument with some Slytherin I didn't know about werewolves. He said that they have no control of their actions even when they're not transformed and he pushed me over the edge so I blasted him into the wall and knocked him unconscious. I didn't even know that spell and I didn't even say it out loud, I just got so angry I pointed my wand at him and it happened. So I got detention for two months twice a week and that's where I met Sirius and James. In detention!" He snorted and shook his head, smiling. "What about you? How'd you meet Sirius?"

"I live across the street from him … and yeah, I had seriously no friends at all either, but then in the fourth year he just … came up to me and was like, 'You live across the street from me, don't you?' and I said, 'More like you live across the street from me!' and for some strange reason he laughed. Then he just … started following me around and asking me questions and telling me stuff and in the summer he'd stay at my place for a few nights on the couch whenever it got real bad at his place." I sighed. "He always fights with his parents … I rarely fight with my Dad … only because he's never around!" I said, scowling at the ground.

He nodded understandingly. "Yeah … My mum's a muggle and … sometimes she's fascinated by my dad's magic and sometimes she's jealous and frustrated because of it and … they fight a lot over it which is just stupid I think. They fight because Mum thinks she does everything and he could help once in a while 'cause it's so quick for him, and sometimes he'll joke around and make her hair fall out and then put it back in and it drives her crazy, and sometimes they fight over what to do with me." His voice gradually grew quieter. "But … Where's your mum?"

I could feel my face burning. I was so ashamed of her. "She's … She's in Azkaban."

His eyes widened.

"I … I'm nothing like her!!" I cried defensively. "And never will be! I hate the Dark Arts!!"

His eyes seemed to search my brain, then he suddenly smiled. "People shouldn't assume things about other people they don't know properly and make up stuff about them based on their title or past, I get it."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "It seems like you're always hinting something about yourself that you're embarrassed of."

"Why would you say that?" he asked, his smile now gone.

I frowned. "Stuff you've said – secrets of yours, no one would talk to you, and your parents fighting over what to do with you! What's wrong?"

He stared into his hands.

"Well, now I know something's up and trust me, I'll make it my mission to find out what it is if you don't just tell me!"

"I … I can't!" He looked truly very sorry and I almost said, 'Okay!' but stopped myself.

"Why can't you?" I asked softly, leaning closer.

He glanced around the room nervously. "You don't understand! People aren't supposed to know and … you'll freak. It's embarrassing!" He seemed to be struggling with himself in his head and winced.

"Do you really think I'd ever tell anyone?" I asked, scooting forward in my chair. "And I won't freak. I can take it. Trust me, Remus … please!"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"I want to get to know who you are, but it's impossible with huge secrets blocking your true self," I replied, straightening.

He thought hard for a few minutes, then finally spoke, "You have to answer me one question first."

"Fine!" I exclaimed, getting excited.

"Do you ever feel jealous of how close Sirius and James are?" he asked, grinning.

I bit my lip. "… Uh … I don't really know. I mean, it's not like I don't want them to be so close 'cause I don't mind it but … I … wish I was that close to someone!"

"You know Sirius wants to get closer to you but sometimes you withdraw?"

"Wha-? He does? I do? Huh?" I scratched my ear, confused. "No, seriously?"

"Seriously!"

"Well, I'm sorry! I didn't know I withdrew." I nodded, thinking. "How? How do I withdraw?"

He shrugged. "Ask Sirius!"

"I will! But first … tell me!"

He glanced at the small group in the corner of the room then pulled out a piece of parchment and started writing on. A few seconds later and he passed it to me. Excited, I read:

_Please don't freak or make a scene in any way! And don't tell a soul on the planet!! Except Sirius, James, and Peter 'cause of course they already know but … I'm a werewolf!_

My eyebrows shot up high and I grinned. "Oh! REALLY?!!" I shrieked happily.

As all the people in the corner turned to stare, Remus slapped his hand to his forehead and shut his eyes, shaking his head.

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**YAY!!! Thanks for reading!! I was gonna say something but, of course, I forget! Man, I forget everything! Oh well!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry it took so long but I had MAJOR writer's block. I seriously couldn't remember where I was going and I didn't have any ideas. I've gotten some back though. This chapter's kind of short. Sorry. I think you guys should give me some ideas. I've got a few but I need more. So please!**

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**Chapter Seven**

"What is it like?"

He raised his eyebrows. "What's what like?"

"Everything!"

"Uh …" He glanced around at all the people staring. "Do we have to talk about it here?"

"No. Where do you want to go?"

"Let's walk," he said, standing up.

I stuffed my parchment and quill into my bag and pulled the strap over my head so that the strap sat on my left shoulder and the bag rested on my right hip. And slowly, we headed out of the common room and down some stairs and hallways just to reach a completely deserted hall.

"So?" I asked eagerly.

He shrugged. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Does it hurt?!"

He was silent for a few seconds. "Uh … Yeah. Not the most comfortable thing ever."

"So … Where do you go? What do you do on full moons?" Then it hit me. "So that's why you're always reading books on full moons!! I thought you just liked astronomy!"

He smiled. "Yeah. Well, you know the Shrieking Shack? Well, that's where I go to transform. Sirius, James, and Peter are all illegal Animagi so they keep me under control. But Dumbledore doesn't know. Oh, and …" He looked guilty. "You can't let Dumbledore know you know. He … trusts me and … I've already broken his trust …" He averted his eyes and stared at his feet.

"Oh … Okay. I'm sorry."

He kind of shrugged, and then, trying to change the topic, he started to describe everything about the transformation of a werewolf and everything else imaginable. It took about two hours but was completely interesting. By the time he'd finished we'd reached the portrait blocking the Gryffindor common room for about the fifth time.

"Well …" I sighed. "It's really late."

He nodded and we entered the common room and headed off to bed. I fell asleep after two more hours of processing everything and my imagination running wild.

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The next day at free time I wandered, alone, into the grounds with my new book, looking for a good place to read, when I noticed Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sitting under the big tree they always sat at. I slowly walked over to them. James was making sparks fly out of the tip of his wand, Peter watched gleefully, clapping every so often, Sirius lay on his back with his eyes closed, and Remus was studying.

Sirius opened his eyes and sat up, grinning. "Hey, Maya."

I smiled and sat down.

"Is that a new book? What happened to _History of the Werewolf_?"

I laughed, glancing at Remus. A small smile had crept onto his face. Sirius looked at him too, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Huh? What?!"

"I … I don't need that book anymore! Now I've got _History of the Vampire_." I beamed at Sirius' completely confused face. "Don't tell me you're a vampire!"

"Wha-?" He stared at Remus. "She knows?!"

James straightened up and gaped at me.

"Yeah. I told her last night," Remus said quietly.

"But …" James protested.

"She's trustworthy! You know that!"

"Sirius," I began, "How do I withdraw?"

His eyes grew huge and an unbelievable bit of red appeared on his cheeks. He never blushed!! He narrowed his eyes and glared at Remus. "What did you tell her?!!"

"I …" Remus looked terrified. "I … just …" He glanced at me like he didn't know what he could tell Sirius. I smiled. "Er … She wished … she … was as close to someone like how close … you and James are … and … I said that …" His face was red now. Sirius was staring at him so furiously Remus was starting to almost hyperventilate. "… I said that you said she … withdrew … sometimes … making it … harder."

Sirius nodded and rubbed his forehead, the anger gone out of his eyes.

"So Sirius … How do I withdraw?"

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**Hmm ... So yeah. Please give ideas and most importantly REVIEW!! The next chapter should be up in ... either three or five days. Something like that. Yay!!**


	8. Chapter 8

I know!!! I'm soooooooooooooo sorry it took this long:( sorry. But yeah, ... couldn't think of anything. But yeah. And not even that much stuff happens in this chapter so I'm real sorry.

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Chapter Eight

Sirius blinked at me.

"How do I withdraw?" I asked again.

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. I can't explain it!"

"Well, you said it!"

"Sometimes you don't show people your true self, okay? Yeah, that's about it. You just don't like to trust people and you hide yourself for fear of being teased even more. Even though when there's people like me and Remus and James and Peter who you know won't tease you, you still hide yourself!" He shrugged and lay back down.

I was silent for a few seconds. "What … What do I hide?" I asked quietly.

Sirius sighed. "I don't know."

"No! Tell me!" I said, my voice rising.

He stared at his fingers. "Well … I know you sketch, Maya! But you hide it from everyone! That one time that I saw a glimpse of the sky you were drawing and it was … insanely good, but you freaked when I said something! And … And you don't talk about your problems!! All we ever do is talk about mine! I know you're … not … happy or whatever, but you refuse to talk about it!! Maybe someone could help you or relate to you! Maybe then you wouldn't feel so alone and …" He shook his head. "Maybe you'd feel accepted and confident and … okay with yourself."

"I'm not like you Sirius!" I cried, sitting up straight. "I can't just … flaunt who I am!! I'm not like that! And I don't trust people! I can't and I probably never will! They've … hurt me and … disappointed me too much for me to forget all that and just move on! I can't!"

I realised I'd been digging my nails into my book, and loosened them, feeling defensive. Before Sirius could say anything, my book had lifted out of my hands and flew over me, knocking into my head hard on the way. I twisted around and saw a group of random girls holding my book, laughing.

"_History of the Vampire_?" one of them cackled, lifting an eyebrow at me.

I climbed to my feet and stepped towards them, glaring furiously. "Give it back!"

They all laughed with each other. "What a geek!" the one girl snapped. "Who reads educational books that aren't even assigned by a class?!"

My face burned.

Sirius appeared beside me. "Give that back NOW!!"

The girls giggled and tossed it to him, twirling their hair around their fingers. "Oh, hi, Sirius! Didn't see you there!"

He scowled at them. "Get out of here!" he spat, handing me my book.

I watched the girls slowly walk up to the castle, staring at Sirius. He sat down and coolly leaned against the tree. My insides boiled. All he ever did was remind me of how popular and loved he was and how nerdy and unwanted I was!

"You satisfied?!" I shouted.

He twitched and looked at me, startled.

"You realise yet why I hide myself?!"

Then, tormenting myself endlessly in my head, I turned and stalked away. I knew I was overreacting and I was being horrible but I couldn't control myself anymore. Strangely enough, I realised as I entered the common room, that even though I stormed away so often and was tortured by how Sirius was so cool, I found myself longing to talk to him again. I felt so alone! And I didn't want to talk to just anyone, only Sirius. Confused, I walked up to the girls' dormitory and lay on my bed.

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I slowly made my way down to the Great Hall at dinner. Still feeling embarrassed by how I'd treated Sirius, I sat alone at the end of the table. I put my elbow on the table and my head in my hand and hid my face behind a curtain of my hair. I poked at my food, sighing heavily every few minutes until someone sat beside me. Reluctantly, I straightened up and saw Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter. Remus smiled at me, Sirius stared at the table, James looked up and down the table, and Peter watched him. I quickly averted my eyes and didn't say anything.

"So … do you find that book interesting?" Remus asked softly, trying to get rid of the awkward silence.

I shrugged.

"Hmm … Well, I find vampires quite interesting."

"Yeah. They're pretty cool."

The rest of the meal was dead quiet. When we all walked back to the common room feeling uncomfortable, Sirius pulled me aside by the arm before we entered it.

"Let's walk."

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**Yeah, I have to go to a new school this year. In ... six days. ... I'm not excited. I'm not good at making friends. So I probably won't have any. Oh well. I'm a loner anyways and I don't really mind it ... just as long as no one picks on me. I'll sit in the library :)**

**Are any of you guys loners? If you are, I know how it feels.**

**Do any of you know the band Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I LOVE THEM!!!! Yes, I'm listening to them right now. Anyhoo .. I know - boring for you. REVIEW!!!**


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